Sick Kittens

So I’ve been debating on dropping my old life. The one from high school anyways. I’m done with everything and everyone. I’m tired of drama and sleepless nights worrying about people. So college is my starting over. New everything. I’m even moving out. So if I delete all of my websites, you’ll know why.

testmysanity asked: hey tasha! i started a new blog thats going to have my books/stories/poems on there and i was wondering if you would follow me! that is if you want to read them. you dont have to and it wont hurt my feelings if you dont but it still would be cool to hear some feed back. Well if you would like to its called My Pen Name Is but ill see you in church!!

I would love to read them!! :) Sorry I haven’t been at church lately. We’ve been in and out of town for a bit. I really hope I can make it this Sunday!

What do I have to do for you to realize what you mean to me? How amazing you are? Honestly? I get upset with you because you mean so much to me and I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore than you already have been and you’re heading down the same path I did when I was your age. Might not have been that long ago but it was quite a trip. Not good in the least. I’m sorry. I wish I could help you more than I already have but for some reason everything that comes out of my mouth is wrong. No you haven’t said it, I can just tell. You always get upset by what I say. It upsets me so bad. I’m sorry for what happened to you in the past. Leave and go. Forgive and forget. Etc. Please smile and mean it. Stand up tall and be confidant with who you are. You’re an amazing individual and you’re beautiful. Please realize that. <3

I want to say everything I shouldn’t. Maybe I should? Nah. It’d be a stupid thing to do. Straight up. But I want you to know that no matter what happens I still love you. <3 I wish you could be with me but that’s not possible. I doubt you’d want to be near me anyways. I wish I could tell you everything but I don’t trust you fully anymore. I don’t think I ever did honestly. I wish we could spend more time together ya know? Maybe then I could start to. But one of us is always busy and when we’re not and we do get to be together it’s not for long. That sucks ass. I’m sorry for ranting about my stupid feelings on tumblr. I love how this is the website and it’s spell checking the name of the website. Funny. I wish you would call me but I don’t think we’d end up talking for long. We never really do. It’s lame. Is that what we’re supposed to do?? Don’t ask me. I’m not the expert. I’m sorry for not telling you any of this in person, on the phone, or texting. Not my style.

Dude….seeing you with him or thinking of him rips my heart out. I have wanted to tell you how I feel for so long and it makes me want to scream it. For some reason I can’t get the words off of my tongue. Seeing your name in my phone or on my facebook makes my heart race. I want to push you away to get these feelings for you to disappear but I have a feeling it won’t. Please just at least stay here with me. I miss the old you that I could tell everything to. The one I could be with and no matter what be able to smile. I miss seeing your face light up when you see me or knowing you are smiling at my texts. I miss holding you and kissing you like we used to. Why have things changed so much? Why did they have to? I want to rip my heart out because I want to say I love you and I miss you every time I see you. I’m sorry for who we have become and what we have done these past couple years. Please come back and never leave again. I’m sorry. </3